toefl writing indipendent task

添削済み

 

While people have different ideas about the most important thing to improve in my hometown, I think the most important possible enhancement in my hometown is to refurbish the small and old station.

 

The first reason to support this stance is that it can save future costs. Now the station in my hometown is too old and is constantly being renovated. After repairing one place in the station, immediately, they need to fix another place. In addition, some locals agree that if they do not rebuild the station from scratch, they never be able to finish renovation. In the long run, rebuilding can save costs in comparison to fixing one malfunction at a time.

 

The second justification to put faith on this view is that by expanding station we can avoid current possible dangers. Right now, the station is too small considering the number of people who use it. In fact, the front of station it is constantly/often congested, which may cause dangerous problems. To further explain my argument, I will give an example from personal experience. Around 6:00PM the station is crowded with people who are leaving from their workplace, and during this time, I have witnessed collisions between pedestrians and bicycles. To prevent this potential issue, it is surely necessary to completely rebuild the station. As the experience above illustrates, by expanding station, we can avoid such possible dangers.

 

Lastly, the third motive to refurbish the station is that it can vitalize the town. New, fancy buildings can attract many foreign tourists. Nowadays, more and more foreigners come to Japan to see “strange” Japanese things. When going to a small town in the northern part of Japan, I was indeed surprised to find that lots of foreigners visit that village just to see a strange building. This experience demonstrates that new, fancy buildings can attract many foreign tourists and vitalize a town.

 

In conclusion, while there may be arguments to be made, either agreeing or disagreeing with my opinion, I personally am convinced that the most important possible enhancement in my hometown is to refurbish the station.